I’m going to be honest here; I am not good at finding the best in myself. Because of that, it is hard to praise myself for anything. Again, Tate has helped me quite a lot in this respect because he not only tells me every day what he loves about me, but he is also so confident in himself that it is infectious. So, when I told him about these two posts, I asked him what he thought I brought to the relationship that makes it better. If I were to answer that, I would say that I have taught Tate how to empathize. He has never been mean or hurtful, but when I first met him he did struggle with putting himself in other’s shoes. Now, that is the first thing that he does when thinking of others.
However, his answer was better (to me at least). When I asked him how I helped him and us, he said “you’re the wildcard! You make our lives more interesting, and you keep me happy.” Excuse me while I blush and swoon. He continued, “I mean, you did my Web homework last night so I could take a nap and then you “cooked” dinner (I made tuna sandwiches and heated up pizza for him) the last two nights in a row, which was surprising. But, yeah, you just help me in so many areas of my life.” I’d say he’s a keeper.
I tend to agree with him, and I think that this stems from my ability to empathize so easily and readily, and my admiration for the Golden Rule. When I love someone, I want to make them happy first and foremost. And, when I love someone I don’t want to see them suffer in any way. So, when it comes to the person I love the most in the world, Tate, I will do anything I can to make him happy. If that means typing 10 pages of homework so that he can take a break, then so be it. If it means figuring out how to feed him so that he doesn’t have to cook after a long day of work and school, then so be it. I know how awesome it feels to have immense amounts of stress relieved by someone who cares about you and helps you, and I want to pass that on to him.
Not only that, but I am, as he said, kind of a wildcard. I tend to be very ADD, I embrace change and I love to laugh. So, where Tate tends to be the serious, studious head of the household, I am the free spirit. Tate cannot just relax most of the time. If he isn’t doing homework or yard work, he’s cleaning the office or the garage. He didn’t know how to have a lazy day or a day of adventure and fun before I came around.
A few posts back, I talked about how spontaneous my family was when it came to travelling and how that was passed down to me. Tate’s family was very different. Everything was planned to a T, and nothing went off the plan. It just didn’t happen. So, although he is the funniest person I know, when it comes to anything slightly serious, it is hard for him to turn off the planning, serious part of his brain. That’s where I came in.
When we first met, he didn’t know how to turn that switch off in any situation. Now, he comes to me when he is stressed (just as I go to him when I am stressed) because he knows that I will convince him to not worry so much about things and to do what makes him happy.
As I said, it takes two to make a relationship work.